


The stupid pink taser

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [356]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 17:57:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Darcy gets a new taser and Phil is not happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The stupid pink taser

**Author's Note:**

> It was childish and irrational. Phil knew it was. It was a stupid _pink_  taser with flowers on it. So why the hell did Phil want it so bad? well, its probably because it was Clint who got that taser. 

He bought the stupid taser and gave it to Darcy as a gift. 

Stupid Darcy and her stupid taser. 

No. Phil was being beyond childish. Darcy didn’t ask for the taser. Clint just gave it to her. As a present. It wasn’t her fault that Phil was totally incapable of keeping his feelings out of this.

“You okay?” Clint asked a few days after he gave Darcy the present. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Phil answered without looking at the archer. He didn’t feel like dealing with anyone right now. He still hasn’t masked his feelings so talking to anyone might quickly turn into him blowing up at their face. It’s a contingency plan he’s put up.

Clint shrugged. “I don’t know. Something feels off. You seem like you’re pissed about something.”

“Well, I’m not.” Phil grit out. 

Clint scoffed lightly. “Pretty sure you are, boss. You’re doing that nose scrunching thing you do when you’re upset about something.”

“What nose scrunching thing?

“That- That thing you do.” Clint said as he tried to imitate Phil’s expression. “You do it every time you see Stark or when you can’t solve something on your own. So, talk to me. Maybe I can help.” 

“I don’t think that’s necessary, but thank you for the offer Agent Barton.” Phil said as a way of dismissing the entire thing. 

“Are you sure? ‘Coz you’ve been scrunching your nose for almost a week now, and at first I thought maybe you could fix whatever it was on your own, but you also solve these things within a day, so it made me curious.” Clint pointed out.

“It’s personal, Clint.” Phil hoped that Clint would let the issue go once he used the ‘it’s personal’ card, but apparently not.

“Here I thought we moved past the ‘I’m your boss so you’re not allowed to know about my life’ thing. I thought we were finally friends too.” Phil wasn’t high enough to not use the ‘personal’ card so Clint didn’t hesitate to use the ‘guilt trip’ card.

Before Phil could answer, There was a knock on Phil’s door and Darcy poked her head in. “Hey Phil, Fury wants to see you when he comes in today.”

“Thank you, Darcy.” Phil nodded and she closed the door behind her. 

Clint looked from the closed door to the Phil before he smirked. “It’s Darcy.”

“What?” Phil didn’t flinch - that reflex was trained out of him on his first week at SHIELD.

“The thing that’s causing you to scrunch your nose, it has something to do with Darcy!” 

“No, it doesn’t!” Phil denied vehemently.

“Aha!” Clint pointed a finger at him. “You’re denying it! It means I’m right!”

“You- I’m denying it because it isn’t true.”

“No, when you’re trying to deny something you don’t just deny it outright, you agree and then roll your eyes sarcastically!” Clint pointed out. 

Phil didn’t even notice that about himself. 

“Out with it, Phil Coulson. What did Darcy do?” Clint grinned like a cat who knew he’s got the canary trapped.

Phil stared at him long and hard before he sighed. “It’s not what Darcy did. It’s what she received.” 

“What? What’d she get?”

Phil mumbled some words, and tried not to go red. He was slightly successful.

“What?” Clint asked again.

“The taser. The stupid Pink taser!” 

Clint frowned, “Why would you be mad about that? Don’t you have, like, five on you at all times?” 

“Two, but that’s besides the point. It’s not really- I’m not mad because she got a taser. I’m mad because she got it from you.” Phil sighed, wearing his heart on his sleeve.

“Well, she told me about the not-so-nice neighborhood she lived in, and since Natasha isn’t available to teach her to fight yet, I thought a taser would be a safer choice than a gun.” Clint explained. “Still doesn’t explain why you’re mad”

Clint _still_  wasn’t getting it, apparently. Phil sometimes hated how thick Clint could be - it’s adorable most times, but now really wasn’t the time.

“I meant- I’m jealous, Clint. I’m jealous that you gave Darcy a stupid pink taser when you’ve only known her a few months. I’m mad because I can’t stop being irrationally jealous over Darcy and her new taser. I’m mad because I can’t stop feeling jealous even though I know I have no right to be since I never even told you about my feelings. I’m mad because I can’t just suck it up and pretend to be okay about you giving other people presents.” 

Clint was silent for such a long time that Phil had gone back to his work. Clint got up wordlessly and exited Phil’s office. Phil paused. He expected something like this to happen if Clint ever found out how he felt about him. Clint was too nice to say ‘No’ outright, so this was his way of letting them both save face. 

Phil tried to focus on his work, but the catch in his throat and the stinging of his eyes were preventing him from doing any real work - just staring at the screen of his computer. 

When he heard footsteps outside his office, Phil quickly wiped the unshed tears away. Clint entered just as silently as he left and dropped a small box on Phil’s desk. 

“I lied.” He said. “The taser wasn’t a present for nothing. It was to say thank you to Darcy.” Clint looked a little out of breath and his cheeks were tinged pink. “I don’t know much about ties or fashion, but she did. She helped me pick that one out. I was going to give it to you over dinner if you ever said yes and I was going to ask you this week, but you seemed to be annoyed so I put it off.” 

“Clint, I-”

“Before you say anything, yes, I was planning on asking you out on a date. No, you’re not required to say yes if you don’t want to. and yes, you still get to keep the tie even if you said no. So- um? Would you? Go on a date with me, I mean.”

“Clint, I don’t know what to say.” Phil answered honestly. On the one hand, he was being given everything he’s ever wanted on a silver platter. On the other, it seems to good to be true. 

“Just say yes already!” They both heard Darcy scream from the other side of the door. “The UST is killing me!”

Phil snorted and Clint turned into a cute tomato. 

“Yes, I’d love to.” Phil said with a smile. 

“No sex in the office! I can hear everything and I’d rather not hear that.” Darcy yelled again.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/140752441871/i-made-chicken-curry-today-it-was-very-yummy)


End file.
